22 September 2008

Surprise DWTS Faves!

First, a picture of Claire to satisfy all you Claire-a-holics. She loves fruit! And she can climb the kitchen chairs so fast--you can see she can get up there and take bites out of three pieces of fruit before I even know where she is!

And now, for the show that makes me smile and talk to myself. Now I can talk to all you guys, though!

There's something so uplifting about watching people try something they've never tried before that is shockingly hard, and then watch them get frustrated, laugh at themselves, doubt themselves, and then go out on the dance floor and look like a million bucks! Maye it's just the spray tan, picture-perfect make-up, swirly-whirly outfits, and wild camera swings and switches, but I think everyone does amazing considering they've only done this for a few weeks!

There are a lot of stars to choose from this season, so to keep it all straight, I actually took notes tonight! Jay saw it, and shouted, "You are so lame!" so loudly that he actually woke Claire up! Geez, the things I do for you blog-readers!

On to the surprises in the lineup! I had never heard of Ted McGinley or Warren Sapp, and in fact I didn't even give them bios in my preview post for this season, so unenthused was I about their participation! However, in accordance with my usual personality-over-skills method of selecting my favorites, they're two of my faves!

I love how Ted McGinley dedicated his dance to the everyman who is sitting at home wanting to watch football but forced to watch DWTS, and then after his dance was over, he says, "And look at me: I'm surrounded by beautiful women, I feel like James Bond, and I'm having the time of my life." I just love it when people are surprised at how much they enjoy doing the show, I think because it's how I feel every time I realize how excited I am about watching it!

And Warren Sapp: Wow, he makes Kym look like a child! That man is a huge, lovable teddy bear! Did you see the clips of his "sack dance" that he does after sacking a quarterback? I love it when those huge football players bust out some silly moves out when they do something good. And then my favorite song of the night, "This will be the one I've waited for..." came on, and that dude busted out some shimmies and shakes that I have not seen since Emmett Smith! And really, it's not just that he moves well for a big guy; he moved better than any of the other men, I thought! I judge this by the fact that I could not stop grinning or saying, "Look at him, Jay," the whole time he was dancing. Did you see his reaction to his score of 21? Eyes pop open, bellow into the mic, "BLACKJACK!" Then the horribly inane Samantha makes some weird transition/joke about gambling with the next dance, and he said with a poker-face, "No, no gambling. No gambling."

If I had to say I was rooting for any female contestant at this point, it would be Misty May, and really, let's be honest. The primary reason for that is Maks. Oh, Maks! How I missed your smug knowledge that you are the best dancer EVER, your pushy little remarks in the practice package, and of course, your stubbly chin and man-cleavage. Really, though, didn't Misty look totally slope-shouldered? Geez, where did Len get elegance from that? I will root for you though, Misty, in the hopes that Maks will make a triumphant return, turning you from a hunchback to a dancer with Mel B.'s confidence and moves. (Loved Mel B! I'm sure Tom's booty is feeling a bit neglected since she left!)

Other random comments:

Lance Bass--looked more confident dancing than I have ever seen him! Perhaps it was that his moves while he was in the boy band were always stunted by the invisible closet he was trapped in. But I haven't seen Lance dance that well ever, and I have seen *NSYNC in concert twice, taped almost every television appearance they made during their heyday, and watched their music videos hundreds of times. That's right, folks. I was crazy, crazy, crazy, yeah! over *NSYNC. (And if you got that reference, you were too.)

Brooke Burke--exhibiting classic mommy absent-mindedness when she can't remember the choreography. At first, I was rolling my eyes like, "Models," and then I thought, you know what? She has FOUR KIDS! And abs you could roll out a pie crust on! (although I'm sure she eats very few pies with that flat tummy!) That is all.

Susan Lucci--complete opposite of Erica Kane! She was almost ridiculously self-deprecating and sweet! During judging, her responses were so humble and agreeable--"I know, you're right!" "Okay, thank you!"

Cody Linley distracted by Julianne's hotness--I gotta say in a totally heterosexual way, Julianne IS disarmingly beautiful! I have never been able to watch her partner dance an entire dance; she's so magnetic in the way she moves and acts! I think that's a big reason she's won two titles.

Toni Braxton and Alec--one too many divas in this pair! Although it looks like Toni is a diva in name only, having been humbled by being diagnosed with some heart disease.

Cloris and Corky--Holy moly, was that cleavage legal for primetime TV? ON AN 82-YEAR-OLD WOMAN? She defies criticism though: threw her leg on the table for Bruno, prayed at the altar for Len, and sat on Carrie-Anne's lap? Hilarious. But can Carrie-Anne please turn off her mic when she giggles like a ninny continuously like that?

Edyta and who-cares, he's leaving this week--She had to take the fall with a dud partner again. Oh well, she got Jason Taylor (ahhhh...remember the freestyle dance to "Miami" when he wore a white tank? Good times.) I love how she tries to disguise her partner's horribleness by wearing a sequined bikini with leg-warmers taken to a totally different place--sheer A-line? What the heck, Edyta? I don't care, you're awesome. But I'm sorry, in reference to your claim that you always make your partners look good, how do your bikini and windmill leg moves make your partner look good? That's all you, babe.

Kim and Mark--All I've got to say is Mark, you're awesome for rocking the hot pink blazer. Mark is the king of monochromatic technicolor outfits, so I'm a bit surprised he didn't go for hot pink pants as well. Remember when he wore a flowy lavendar shirt, pants, and shoes last season with Kristi? Memories... And Kim? You're right up there with Kimmy Gibbler in making me ashamed of my name. I have nothing more to say about you.

Rocco and Karina--I've got a soft spot for Karina the drama queen--remember when she had to excuse herself from a practice session with the undeniably awful Billy Ray Cyrus to cry in the bathroom? I hope Rocco gets better, because he's got a great attitude and is pretty adorable.

If anyone is still reading, know that I love you and I would delight in reading any of your thoughts on tonight's premiere in the comments.

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