DWTS: Julianne's back with a vengeance!

Big sigh of relief, everybody! Gosh, after that heart-wrenching, teary lovefest between Cody and Julianne in Dr. Drew's office, I was a wreck hoping they weren't eliminated! I confess to you all that I shed two fat tears during that! Anytime a boy (okay, a MAN, Cody!) cries, I'm generally right there with him! Anyway, when that awful drum started pounding before the final elimination, my heart was beating, "Not Cody, Not Cody, Not Cody." Whew!

And WOW was that the jive of your life that Derek and Julianne gave or what? Absolutely amazing. I just love how goofy and animated both of them are on and offstage, and when they're together on the dance floor, it's nonstop grins from me! Can I just say also, that Derek is hilarious? When he's not speaking on camera, you can just see him constantly thinking of a new way to contort his face to be funny. I loved when the ever-awkward Samantha said something about how Julianne has taught Cody so much "about dancing..." implying the "nothing else, kids!!" and Derek craned his giraffe neck over to stick his head in front of the camera with an "I don't approve of this!" face. Also his crazy little kick when Samantha announced DWTS is up for a People's Choice award. Ah, Derek. I could go on, but I won't. You're welcome.

And please people, replace Samantha! She done pulled her last straw with me, folks! Julianne is back from major surgery, Cody has gone through a terrible time while she's gone, having to deal with dancing with someone new and intimidatingly gorgeous, and here she is, our blond dynamo, back for her first show since recovering, and what is the question Ms. Dimwit-in-a-ballgown asks? "Cody, what's in been like to dance with the two hottest gals on the show?" or something to that effect. It's been terrible, you idiot! NO ONE on this show would have wanted to trade spots with him, no matter how long-legged and sexy Edyta is! That's it, I'm having my people call Drew Lachey's people...