DWTS: Ya gotta have PERSONALITY!

RESULTS SHOW UPDATE: Kim K., you will not be missed. I must say that I will miss the adorable Mark Ballas, who was so sweet about leaving his dad on the show--"He inspires me so much. He's my hero, and I'm so honored to share the stage with him. Keep voting for him!" Breathe in love, exhale hate.

What makes me want to watch the earnest Maurice Green more than the judges darling Brooke Burke? Personality. If it weren't for those little practice packages with their cheesy educational visits and worst mess-ups, I wouldn't have a clue who to root for on this show. But because I saw Rocco DiSpirito cook Karina a risotto and work his cute little booty off in practice, I voted for him. Brooke Burke's personality is coming off kind of mweh to me, so I'm not so into her. Misty May seemed like she hit rock-bottom with Maks' demanding teaching technique, saying she wanted to cry (Seriously? That would be like seeing Xena cry.), but then that killer paso made it all seem worth it. Except for that deer-in-headlights look she was doing the whole time.

Other notes:

Did it look to anyone else like Cody Linley was basically just taking long, slow strides toward Julianne while she twirled and whirled like a perky little dervish? How was that better than Rocco's rumba?

Lance kissed a girl. Probably the grossest TV kiss I've ever seen--trying to create the appearance of passion, but just looked slobbery. And P.S., I'm no Len, but that did NOT look like a paso to me. Maybe just because there was no skirt or cape swirling or foot-stomping though.

Warren in the Matrix-style paso? Freakin' awesome! Did you see how quick his big ol' feet moved when the beat sped up? Amazing! Although I was afraid he had squashed Kym like a bug for a second at the end when he messed up on his drop move.

And Kim, ohhhhh Kim. How do I despise your presence on this show...Let me count the ways:

Mark: "Didn't you dance with the Pussycat Dolls?"

Kim: "I hosted; I didn't dance with them!"

Cut to a picture of Kim on the Pussycat Doll stage NOT holding a microphone, dressed in full-on skankwear, and Kim VO: "I recently performed with the Pussycat Dolls."

Okay, she lies.

She's the only person I've ever seen on this show who actually wears MORE make-up in practice than she does while performing.

Totally blank stare the whole time she's doing what is supposed to be the sexiest dance of them all.

So please keep her on, America: She wants to keep dressing up.

P.S. I don't want to hear anyone saying she has no performance experience. Honestly, that's no excuse! Look at Rocco, Maurice, Warren, and Misty May, all of whom maybe don't perform a song like the entertainers do, but who put their hearts and souls into their dances! It's about putting yourself out there and connecting with the audience by revealing yourself, and she's holding herself away and above the audience and her adorable partner Mark, which ticks me off.

Deep breath. I'm done now. Thank you.